


i'll never get to heaven ('cause i don't know how)

by thoroughlytrash



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Drabble, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Lena deserves better, Post 2x20, Pre-Relationship, why do all her mother figures turn on her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 09:30:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10873971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoroughlytrash/pseuds/thoroughlytrash
Summary: Kara was the one to comfort Lena when the woman realized that everyone used her, whether it be her mother or the queen of another planet.





	i'll never get to heaven ('cause i don't know how)

**Author's Note:**

> title is from "lost on you" by lp

Kara stood in front of the door, her hands fiddling with the edge of her shirt. She had come as soon as she could, after Lena had gotten to Earth safely. Queen Rhea had abducted her -  _and_ tried to make her marry against her will - and she had just helped Lena get home as Supergirl. 

It was only right to see her now as Kara, yet - she was a bit worried. It wasn't like she was particularly confident anyway while with Lena; it was hard keeping her secret identity in hiding, and she guessed that it would be even harder if she wanted to reveal it now, that Lena had been deceived by an alien. 

(It certainly wasn't helping how Lena never failed to keep the red lipstick off her lips - and maybe Kara felt a bit guilty about her attraction to them. She was  _supposed_ to be Lena's friend.)

That put her in an uncomfortable place; she wanted to confess to her friend, about the secret she's been keeping for the past  _months,_ but now didn't seem like a good time. Still, it wasn't like she wanted to keep it away from her for much longer. 

Kara swallowed, her hand moving up to knock on the door. She hadn't seen Lena as - well, as  _herself_ since before the whole portal thing started, and she felt guilty about it. 

She knocked on the door, and Lena opened it in seconds. 

Lena looked - well, Lena looked miserable. Depressed, even, and Kara could see the tear marks on her face. Her heart broke about a million times as she surged forward to embrace her friend, who gripped her as if she was her only lifeline. 

(And, maybe, she was. That wouldn't be too far off, with everyone in Lena's life leaving her at the first possibility.) 

"Oh, Lena," Kara managed to say, something nearly choking her and her heart dropping in her chest. She hadn't expected to see Lena like this - it was as bad as it had been after what happened to Jack, or maybe it was worse. It seemed that way - as if Lena was releasing all the pent up sadness from all the bad experiences life had provided her with, finally letting herself just  _break_ after years of holding herself together. 

Or maybe it all had been just for show; Lena Luthor, the strong, independent woman, who had an endless supply of confidence, who cried when she was alone. Kara's mind didn't stop from running to Lena's teenage years, or even younger that that; Lena Luthor, the young girl who cried into her pillow at night, after her step-mother found a new way to show Lena how she didn't love her. 

"I'm so sorry," Kara continued, her voice soft. They were still standing in the doorway, though Kara couldn't focus on that right now. Lena, uncharacteristically quiet, responded by gripping the back of Kara's shirt. She felt the very same shirt start drowning in the woman's tears, and she smoothed down the woman's hair. 

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Lena muttered, her voice so quiet that Kara wouldn't be able to hear her if not for her enhanced hearing. The fact that Lena was defending her when Kara was already hurting her in so many ways wasn't a good thought, and Kara considered the possibility of coming clean right now - no use continuing living in a lie, to one of her closest friends. 

She found herself scared, though. What if that only served to hurt Lena more? To break her, in a thousand more ways. 

Instead, Kara rubbed her hand on Lena's back before pulling away from the hug, looking at the woman in front of her. 

"Lena," she couldn't stop herself from saying, her voice soft and gentle. Her hands ran from her friend's pack to her hands, taking a hold of them, and Kara knew she wouldn't let go anytime soon. The  _are you okay_ she wanted to say died on her lips before she could even open her mouth - it was obvious her friend wasn't, and - and there was no point in reminding her of that, was there? "Do you - do you want to talk about it?" 

It took Lena a moment to reply; perhaps she was considering her offer. It seemed as if the woman was close to turning her away, maybe even deeming herself broken beyond fixing, before she nodded. 

Kara nodded, reluctantly letting go with one hand to close the door and help maneuver the two of them to sit on the couch. Once they were safely sitting, Lena used a moment to compose herself. She ran a hand through her hair, wiped her face and took a deep breath. 

"We don't have to talk about it now, if you don't want to," Kara assured Lena, her hands once again grasping her friend's.

"I think it's better if you hear it from me," Lena said, and Kara didn't miss her return to hiding. Her return to trying and pretending she was okay, as she had most likely done all her life. "I'm sure it's going to be the topic of news soon. Perhaps they'll even find a way to frame me for it."

"We really don't have to talk about it," Kara insisted, "we can, you know, watch a few movies. Eat some ice cream. I can go get donuts, even, since - " 

"No," Lena cut Kara off with, and their eyes met. Lena looked so  _vulnerable_ in that moment as she gripped Kara, to prevent her from leaving. "Please." A beat passed, in silence, before Lena added, "stay." 

"Of course," Kara breathed out, wanting nothing more than to help put the woman back together.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed! i haven't really had much experience writing lena so i'm sorry if she seems a bit off but i tried ? 
> 
> ((I'm thinking of putting out a few more one-shots like this, to go from pre-relationship to relationship and so on,, so keep an eye out!!))


End file.
